i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
