You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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