Are we in a gay sports bar?
I just pynch a tree in the face
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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