Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
