my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
