Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
only if we run a train.
done.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
