would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
