Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
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