My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
handjob tips. give me some.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
