I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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