One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
