My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
