I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
