It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
