either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
