everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
