i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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