She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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