why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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