When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
