Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
