Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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