Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
