K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
