Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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