Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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