: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
