Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Less talking, more tequila
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
