But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
you inspire me to be a worse person
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
