i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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