Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
