Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
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