Tell her she can't have a vagina
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
