I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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