too bad you live with your parents still
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
