Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I think pants incapable of making pants work
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
