white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
