Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
