another moral hangover. fuck.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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