I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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