Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I wish there were birth control emojis
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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