I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
