I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
false alarm, still single
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
