Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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