omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
He? As in you personified your dick?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
