just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
