Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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