is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
