I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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