They should really pass out barf bags in church
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
