then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
