He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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